


My World is Filled With Cheer, and You

by mcgarrygirl78



Series: #1 Crush [11]
Category: Criminal Minds
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - High School, Friendship, Holidays, Humor, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-11
Updated: 2013-12-11
Packaged: 2018-01-04 07:48:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,771
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1078397
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mcgarrygirl78/pseuds/mcgarrygirl78
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“We’re not even kissing and I can hear that damn Belinda Carlisle song in my head.  My life has officially become a teen movie.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	My World is Filled With Cheer, and You

“Krissy’s whole rationale is that she doesn’t want to be disrespectful. She's nine and knows most kids her age don’t believe but then she says ‘what if he is real and then all I get is a lump of coal’. At her age, it’s all about the maximum potential for gifts.”

“I think it’s brilliant. More people should think that way. Sean is still a firm believer. I took him to see Santa this year. He asked for a motorcycle and an airplane.”

“Whoa, I think that kid means business.” Anderson laughed. “I watched _The Grinch_ with my sisters and then we made double fudge brownies for Santa. Krissy thinks he might be tired of cookies. I can say I disagree with that.”

“What are you doing right now?” Hotch asked.

“What do you want me to be doing?” Anderson countered.

“I just want you to be relaxed and enjoying your night. I was going to say I wanted you to be happy but I don’t know if we have enough time to perform Christmas miracles.”

“I know something you could perform that would make me happy. Really, really happy.”

“Do you kiss your mother with that mouth?” Hotch asked. He was trying not to laugh.

“Mmm hmm. I kiss you sometimes too, Aaron Hotchner.”

“Did you have a good evening?”

It wasn’t that Hotch wanted to change the subject. He was just floored by how much he missed Anderson. There was a little hole in the pit of his stomach and only the other boy seemed to fill it. The feelings overwhelmed and concerned Hotch. Lots of things did but he almost always kept his stiff upper lip. 

That was another amazing thing…he never needed it with Anderson. Letting people in could be an agonizing process that Hotch usually regretted. From the first moment they were together in the yearbook room, Hotch felt a closeness with Anderson. Over the past few months they'd only gotten closer. 

In Anderson's bed on more than one occasion, Hotch was closer to him than he'd ever been to anyone in his life. How he would find the words to express those feelings, he had no idea. There was one word, used and overused by so many that Hotch thought he might feel. How was he supposed to be sure if he never felt it before?

“Amanda was over for pizza and a movie earlier.” Anderson said. “Pizza and Christmas movies are a family tradition. We exchanged gag gifts.”

“What did you get?” Hotch asked.

“She bought me Celine Dion’s Greatest Hits. It’s the height of cheese so of course I loved it. I bought her a giant silver rope chain with a cubic zirconia dollar sign pendant.”

“That sounds silly.” Hotch said.

“That’s the point. We get each other the most ridiculous stuff we can think of. I don’t even remember how we started that. This year, with all that’s happened my mom went out and got her a few nice gifts too. I thought that was cool of her. Amanda’s trying not to be too excited but this will be a good Christmas for her. It'll actually be a peaceful day. She almost doesn’t want to believe it.”

“I know the feeling.”

“You’ve had bad Christmases?” Anderson asked.

“My parents fought a lot.” Hotch spoke in a low tone. He'd never uttered the words. His hand automatically went to his chest, as if he could hold the words back. It was too late for that. “My dad drank and it made him angry. When he thought his words weren’t coming across, he'd used the back of his hand. My mother fought back. She has never been a demure woman.”

“Douche.” Anderson muttered. “Sorry.”

“Don’t be…he was a douche. I'm glad my brother gets to grow up with a dad who gives a damn. Tug is good to both of us.”

“You’ve met mine. He's not a horrible person but sometimes I miss my dad so damn much. People always say ridiculous things like ‘could be worse’. Of course it could be! That doesn’t mean your situation doesn’t suck.”

“Yeah, I know.” Hotch cleared his throat. “How did this conversation get so depressing? We need to pep it up.”

“If you could have one thing for Christmas, anything you wanted, what would it be?” Anderson asked. “Don’t think about money or plausibility; none of that matters. Just tell me.”

“I don't know. Wow, I have no idea.”

“You don’t know? You’ve never even thought about it? I’d get The Smiths back together for a one time concert in Penelope’s basement. We’d charge people $200, get like 100 people in there, and split the money with the band. I’d give the rest to Amanda for her surgery fund.”

“I guess I should think about this.”

“You should.” Anderson said. “Having a fantasy life is healthy. Having an escape is essential to making it in this world.”

“You're my escape.” Hotch said before he could stop himself.

“Don’t you dare put that burden on me.” Anderson said in a stern voice.

“I didn’t…I wasn’t saying…oh my God I'm…”

“So kidding, Aaron.” Anderson laughed some. “I'm sorry; I was totally kidding. Really, I promise.” He laughed more.

“That was not funny.” Hotch said it in the tone that told Anderson he would be hit if they were close.

“Oh c'mon, it was a little funny.”

“Not funny. Don’t make me call you by your first name.”

“OK, OK, it wasn’t that funny.” Anderson laughed. “No, nevermind, first name be damned. It was funny. I enjoy being your escape, Hotch. We have fun on our own little island. I’ll make up being mean to you when you come back from Virginia.”

“My parents and brother are staying awhile but I'm coming home on the 26th.” Hotch said. “Do you want to stay at my house on New Year’s Eve after the party at the Ballroom?”

“Yes.” Anderson wanted to hesitate but couldn’t. “I'm excited for this party. I'm excited for this year to end. 2011 can kinda kiss my ass.”

“Surely it had some good moments.” Hotch said.

“I can think of a few.” Anderson said. “We’re not even kissing and I can hear that damn Belinda Carlisle song in my head. My life has officially become a teen movie.”

“Who would play you? Who would play me?”

“Dylan O’Brien from _Teen Wolf_ is soooo me.” Anderson replied. “His eyes are the wrong color but everything else is so spot on that I can totally overlook that.”

“You watch _Teen Wolf_?”

“There are cute guys who go shirtless more often than not. What do you think? It’s not Shakespeare, but Amanda and I like it. I need to figure out who would play you. Ooh, this will be fun. Hey, George Bailey no longer exists.”

“What?” Hotch asked.

“I'm watching _It’s a Wonderful Life_ on mute.” Anderson replied. “I watch it that way every year but two years ago I actually watched it all the way through for the first time in forever. Jimmy Stewart is so awesome. It’s an amazing film.”

“There's no TV in my room. My grandparents just have one in the den and another in their bedroom. I'm just lying here looking at the framed painting of a bowl of fruit on the wall. I can hardly see it; the lamp doesn’t produce much light.”

“Are you dressed?” Anderson asked.

“I'm not wearing a shirt.”

“Keep talking.” He shifted on the bed.

“What do you want me to say?” Hotch asked.

“You’ve never had phone sex, have you?”

“People do that in real life?”

“Are you serious?” Anderson asked. “Hells yeah.”

“Why? It’s not real.”

“People like fantasy, remember? Why do you think internet porn is so popular?”

“But I’d want to be close to you.” Hotch said. “I can talk dirty but I want to feel you. I want to feel what you feel when I say those things to you. I want you in my arms. Imaginary scenarios have nothing on the real thing when we’re together.”

“Damn.” Anderson shivered. “Merry Christmas to me.”

“Merry Christmas Charlie Brown.”

“You're cute.”

“I should probably go.” Hotch said. “I need to get some sleep because Sean is gonna wake up with the crows. He never wakes my parents; he always wakes me. Then we make breakfast for everyone so I can distract him from thinking about opening his gifts until my parents wake up.”

“You're a good big brother.” Anderson said.

“I hope so.”

“I know so. Text me tomorrow or something…or I’ll text you.”

“Yeah that sounds good.” Hotch said. “I love you, goodnight.”

“Aaron?” Anderson looked at his phone. 

The call was over. Did he just hang up on him? Did Aaron Hotchner just say he loved him and then hung up on him? This definitely wasn’t happening. What the hell song was supposed to play during this scene of the movie? 

Anderson wasn’t even sure he heard him right. Frantically his brain started reliving the conversation over and over. _I want you in my arms, Merry Christmas Charlie Brown, I love you goodnight. I love you goodnight_. Fuck! Anderson quickly typed out a text message.

‘ _You suck_!’

A few minutes later a text came back.

‘ _I am so sorry_.’

‘ _Sorry because you didn’t mean it or sorry because you said it and hung up on me_?’

‘ _The second one_.’

‘ _You meant it_?’

‘ _This might be a conversation better had face to face_.’

‘ _You started it Aaron_.’

‘ _I did, and I take full responsibility for that. I don’t want to apologize too much. I don’t want an impulse to sound like a mistake_.’

‘ _I don’t want that either_.’

‘ _We’ll talk as soon as I get home_.’

‘ _OK. Goodnight_.’

Anderson put his cell phone down on the nightstand hard. He wanted to talk about it now. It couldn’t be possible that Hotch felt the same way that he did. Anderson didn’t know if it was love or not. It was really, really like; he knew that for sure. 

He hadn’t known Hotch long enough and surely didn’t want to base his feelings on a lusty crush he’d had since freshman year. But the way he felt when they were together couldn’t be denied. They were together more and more these days. They admitted that they had a thing. 

No labels, no boyfriends, just a thing. Could you love someone and just have a thing? Did love necessarily mean in love? It would be a Christmas miracle if Anderson slept tonight with all these things running through his mind.

***


End file.
